I See Fire (Only In Your Eyes)
by kristoferrobbin
Summary: She'd never meant to get her involved. She never meant for it to be her problem, but fate was inescapable and apparently so was love. (This is mostly AU because i haven't watched the actual show since the beginning of season three, so the majority of the story is changed).
1. Prologue: Don't You (Forget About Me)

Regina Mills sat idly by in her dark living room staring blankly at her flat screen TV, as The Breakfast Club played for the third time. Somewhere along the lines of sobbing hysterically and joyously singing along to 'Don't You (Forget About Me)', an emptiness had crept its way deep into her heart. It was just a movie, she thought. There's no reason to be crying over a movie, because what did it have to do with her anyway? Claire Standish certainly wasn't like her in any way. But she was, wasn't she?

After delivering her sweet undoing in the form of a goodbye to the Sheriff's Station, she'd moseyed her way back to her lonely mansion, making sure to take the back streets, of course. And when she'd arrived, she found that 'The Breakfast Club' DVD was lying on her coffee table. It was Emma's favorite movie, Henry had told her, and she never saw it. Never even heard of it, but she bought it anyway because any chance that she'd get to be that much closer to Emma Swan, she'd take. And that's all that this was about, her dear Miss Swan. So Regina Mills shut the drapes in her living room on that stormy gray evening, sank down into the couch and watched The Breakfast Club.

The first time she hated it. But as she was too tired to move, Regina stayed seated and waited for the movie to play again. The second time she cried, because Claire Standish really was just like her. And John Bender was just like Emma Swan. And after all of their anger and hatred towards each other, they still got their happy ending.

John Bender had walked away, shoving his fist into the air because 'hell yeah, he got the girl". So it was only natural for Emma to walk away shoving her fist into the air because she had won Regina's heart. Except it wasn't natural at all, not really. She was an Evil Queen, and Emma Swan was the daughter of her enemy and the birth mother of her son. Logic says that they were destined to hate each other. And so, when Emma had starting gallivanting around with that godforsaken pirate she'd made no complaints. How could she? She herself had fallen prey to the woes of true love—or so they called it.

Robin Hood was perfect. He was kind and treated her nice enough, so why not? Why not jump head first into the biggest mistake of her life? Regina regretted ever even entertaining the idea of being with him, but yet she still felt betrayed when Emma brought back his dead wife. She didn't really love him and she didn't give a damn about Marian but the prospect of Emma taking away one more thing in her life nearly shattered her to pieces, and so she kept on acting as if Robin was the love of her life. In truth, Regina would defy the laws of logic and gravity and all of the other invisible forces in the world to have Emma shoving her fist into the air, because 'hell yeah, she had gotten the girl'. But this wasn't like the movies, and fairytales were only for girls in white dresses.

This was more so one of those dramatic tragedies where the protagonist continuously makes all of the wrong choices because they were dealt a bad hand, and you're screaming at the TV for them to fail because they'd ruined everyone else's life, and you jump for joy when they do. Yes, Regina had realized, that was exactly what her life was like. But still, she thought, it would have been nice to kiss her just once. And it would have been nice to hug her and hold her, and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. It would have been wonderful to love Emma Swan, and receive her love in return. That's when the sobbing began, and Regina was reminded that dreams and happy endings were certainly not for people like her. It seemed that Mother was right, love was definitely a weakness. Because of her love for Emma and Henry, Regina laid shaking and crying like a child in her living room, all from a movie. Love, she thought bitterly, had ruined her. That's what had gotten her here. Because Regina loved and loved and loved, she lay here dying. This felt like dying, like the air that she needed to breathe was just out of her reach. It's true that love's labors are lost. She tried to be better, she thought, and for what? For a woman she loved that would never love her in return and a son for whom she'd give her life that hated her for nearly of his. This was not what love was supposed to feel like, she decided sourly. Well damn them all to hell because she'd tried and they still didn't love her, not even a little bit.

And she wanted to hate them, because if she hated them then it would be easier to leave. But there was still a part of her that kept waiting for Emma to show up on her doorstep with Henry in tow, for them to insist that she stay because families stay together. What a thought, she snarled bitterly. The precious Charmings were off gallivanting around with her true love and her son, and they were a family that she was not a part of. She'd do better just leaving them all behind, because that way Emma and Henry would be happy. But she wanted to curse them for daring to be happy without her. How dare they just abandon her to live out their own happy endings. And so the hysterics commenced, and Regina truly believed death to better than what she was feeling at that moment.

No, she needn't worry. All she had to do was keep breathing. Her plan was already secured, that was why she had gone through with the letter in the first place. She would leave before dawn, before Henry went to school and before Emma found her letter. Regina Mills was finally going to leave the Evil Queen behind. All that was left now was the message she'd received, and the ticking of the grand clock on the wall. But as Regina read through the message on her phone one last time, she couldn't help but think of how nice it would have been to have Emma thrust her fist into the air, just for her.

**New Text Message**

**January 23rd, 2013 3:12am**

**From 201-622-1949:**

It's time.

A/N: So what do you guys think? Should I continue this story? Let me know what you think, reviews are much appreciated!


	2. Out In This Cold (I'm So Alone)

The hardest thing, Regina had realized, was leaving behind her history. Not only was she leaving behind the people she loved in leaving Storybrooke, but she was also leaving behind herself. But maybe that was good for her, to be able to start anew. Not that she had much time for a new start. Stealing a glance at herself in her rear view mirror, she knew that she had not much time at all. The tints of green magic were now visible in the bags under her eyes, and in the hollow of her cheeks. You can tell that I'm dying, Regina thought. She had very little time. There were tasks to be completed and she had less than a month to complete them. It seemed selfish to her, to not tell Henry and Emma of her condition. If they'd managed to find her it might be too late for them to say goodbye. Maybe now that they were going to find out whom she truly was things could be better between them, she pondered. Now she wasn't really the spawn of evil, and she was manipulated her whole life and she was doing something good with her last few days. Maybe they would come and find her, before she passed. And she'd get to see them one last time. Yes, Regina thought, I'll see them again, and I'll get to say goodbye. It was better that way, because if Regina had seen their faces, she wouldn't have been able to leave. This was good for her, to be alone for now. With one final glance at her home, Regina pulled out of her driveway and drove away into the early sunrise.

* * *

><p>"Henry! Come on, we gotta go!" Emma yelled from the bottom of the stairs. She checked her watch for the third time in the last five minutes.<p>

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Henry came charging down the stairs, almost falling over on the way down. "Easy there kid, your mom has enough to worry about without adding a broken ankle to the list." Henry smiled sheepishly.

"Are you sure we should be bothering mom again? She said she needed some space and I still think we should give it to her."

"Henry, when it comes to your mom 'leave me alone' means 'I'm pissed at you but I really need you.' Trust me; I'm fluent in all things Regina." Henry stared unconvincingly.

"I would have to respectfully disagree with that last statement." The sheriff rolled her eyes.

"Geez, what are you, Regina 2.0? Save the inquisition for later, we've got a queen to see and I still have to stop at the station." Emma hurried out the door, Henry following close behind her.

* * *

><p>Emma rushed into the Sheriffs' station from the now pouring rain. They'd been half way to the station and the sky began to crackle with lightning and open season all over her favorite leather jacket. Some freaking luck, she thought. Hurrying over to the interrogation room, she failed to notice the envelope on her desk. Emma grabbed her phone off of the table—she'd forgotten it there earlier during one of her impromptu breaks— and ran back out into the hallway, stumping her foot on the desk on the way back.<p>

"Mother fucker! Son of a bitch, oh my god!" She cursed, hobbling on one foot and holding the other. The small envelope fell to the floor in front of her. What's this, Emma wondered. Her aching foot now forgotten, the blonde sheriff bent to pick up the envelope and sat down on her desk. To Emma, it read. She immediately recognized it as Regina's handwriting. What could this be, Emma thought as she ripped open the envelope. It was a letter with an ancient looking key at the bottom of the envelope. Regina had written her a letter. Should she read it? Of course she should, it would be rude not to. After all, Regina had taken the time to write it, so she absolutely had to read it. But what if it said something horrible? What if Regina was stating her undying hatred for her? What if she said she'd never forgive her? And did she really deserve her forgiveness at all? No, thinking poorly of Regina is what got her into this mess in the first place. She's a good woman and despite all of the pain she was going through, she was still Emma's friend. Or something like it, she added. Unfolding the letter and taking a deep breath, she began to read.

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_I've never been one for cowardice, but I simply can't bring myself to face you. Emma Swan, you are without a doubt the most irritating, insufferable, meddling, life ruining woman that I have ever met. And even so, you've somehow still managed to have me falling for you. I know what you must think, that this is some ruse in a ploy to seek revenge. It isn't, I wish with all my being that it was, but it isn't. For some reason completely lost to me I have come to care for you in ways that even I don't understand. I don't know how this has come to happen, and I believe that's what angers me the most. To be honest I didn't think that I had much of a heart left to love (yes, love Ms. Swan) anyone romantically ever again._

_After Daniel, (I've decided that I am finally going to tell you everything because as the woman I love I believe that you deserve to know who I truly am. Please try not to be too disappointed) I was so utterly broken. I was merely out of my teenage years, and I'd fallen for a stable boy. At the time I thought that he was my true love, but now I find that I had just loved him, and not been in love with him. Nevertheless, he was so very dear to my heart. In all of the horrors of my life, Daniel helped me in ways that I couldn't begin to explain. He was my first friend and he believed in me when no one else did._

_Cora was a cruel woman, as you well know, and she'd hurt me in so many ways. I don't know how I managed to survive all that she had put me through. There were so many mornings that I'd woken up wishing that I hadn't. I just wanted to disappear, escape to a faraway place where she couldn't reach me. But I never disappeared. There was one day that I'd wanted to drift away the most of all. My thirteenth birthday. Cora took me to a whore house. She'd said that it was time for me to become a woman and that I needed to learn how to please my future husband. She left me in a room with an enormous, dastardly man. I will not write down what he did to me, I fear that rehashing the horrific details before the devils eyes will bring about long forgotten nightmares. And that coward of a man, Henry Mills, (whom I somehow still managed to love) never did a thing to stop her. As much as I hate to admit it, that was what made it easier for me to take my father's heart. I loved him dearly, but a small part of me—the little girl inside of me who can never be at peace, never really forgave him. Gods know I tried, but I couldn't find it in me. But I forgot about all of it with Daniel, I could be someone other than the property of Cora Mills._

_This is how I'd come to meet your mother. I want you to know that there was a time when I'd loved Snow White. When she was a young girl, I had cared for her very much. But things changed very quickly, and I was unable to do anything to stop it. I'll leave it to Snow to tell you the full story, this is my goodbye to you and I can't afford to spend it talking about that woman. I apologize for burdening you with my life story, but I need you to know now more than ever that I did not want my life to come to what it has. I had hopes and dreams, once upon a time. I had innocence. But it was all taken from me, everything. I was abandoned in a cruel world to fend for myself with not a clue of what the world really was. Snow White had taken my love from me. I know my choices were my own, but I can never forgive her. She took the only person that has ever loved me away. And to make matters worse, she gave birth to you, the savior, with your brash ways and horrid sense of fashion and I fell completely and whole heartedly in love with you. It's as if she knew I would love you, and gave birth to you just to spite me. Nevertheless, I seem to find that I can hate her a tad less knowing that she brought you into my life. And as difficult as it has been, it truly has been a pleasure to know you Ms. Swan. Emma. I realize that I've never called you by your name before, and for that I must apologize. I never imagined that something as trivial as saying a person's name would matter to me so much. But you're much more than some person, aren't you? I'd like to apologize for all of the fights that we've had but the prided part of me will not allow it. After making myself this vulnerable to you I must maintain some shred of dignity. But honestly Emma, it is quite rude to barge into someone's life and take their child. I know that Henry is your son, but you could have at least recognized the fact that I have been the sole mother figure in his life for the past twelve years. He's my son just as much as he is yours, and you just took him from me. I don't understand why everyone is so keen on leaving me alone. Well, you've certainly followed in your mother's footsteps. We've moved past all of that, but the thought of it still brings tears to my eyes. You've single handedly left me in ruins, and for some strange reason I still love you. Why do I still love you, Emma? I don't know how you have done this to me. I really wish you hadn't because it was so much easier to hate you. I tried so very hard to. But I've grown tired of fighting losing battles._

_Just to clear the air, I am not angry with you for reuniting Robin and Marian; i was hurt that it was you that did it. I don't love Robin, I never have and I never will, but he was convenient. He filled a void in my life that I now realize can only be filled by you. I wanted to hold onto the belief that I could be happy with him because he was easy enough to be with. But alas, he wasn't you. I apologize for taking out my frustrations on you but you must realize that he was my last chance at accepting the fact that I could never have you, but just like my heart you took him as well. I know that you didn't mean to hurt me; I know that you would never intentionally hurt me. I trusted you against my better judgment; I gave you everything I had. No one in this godforsaken world knows me the way you do and I absolutely hate that. I just wish it could have been different with you, I wish with all my heart that you could have been the one to stay with me through it all. I dreamt that you would be my savior. But now I realize that dreams are not for people like me._

_However, no matter what you'd do, my heart would still be yours. It has been since the day at the mines. Through all of the turmoil I was feeling, you were there by my side to save our son. And I thought of how easy it would have been to just fall into your arms and let everything go. I thought of how easy it'd be to just cry and have you hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I had wanted that so badly, to just be held by you, suspended in your love and security. When pigs fly, I presume is your train of thought. I now realize that it was foolish of me to ever entertain such thoughts. How could the product of true love, love someone as evil as me? I am not deserving of you in the slightest and I know that. So I'd pushed you away time and time again. I'm quite the actress, wouldn't you agree? I should receive an Oscar for all of the effort I put in to keep my feelings a secret. I resisted all of the temptation that you threw my way. It was so hard not to smile back when you would smile at me, or laugh at your perverted and disastrous sense of humor. It was even harder to pretend that I didn't find you to be the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I had to restrain myself constantly to not stare too long. And I hated when I would stand too close to you, because you smell of honey and I do so love honey. There were so many occasions when I wanted to just pull you close to me and hold you and kiss you all over and tell you how gorgeous I truly think you are. But I believe the hardest thing for me was to not touch your hair. It looks of freshly spun gold, and I had wanted to touch it at least once. I'm sure it feels of silk. Here I am rambling about your beauty, who would've imagined that? I assure you this is not what I had in mind of writing to you. Although, I suppose I'll leave this the way it is because a woman of your stature should hear of her beauty every day._

_There are many things that I've found out in the time since you broke the curse. The first being that Cora and Henry Mills are not my parents and that Regina Mills does not exist. My mother was a gypsy named Esmeralda, and my father a soldier named Phoebus. I was stolen from them as a baby by Cora, who raised me as "her own". Cora's true daughter, Alice, was dying when they stole me away. They needed someone to carry her heart and fill it with magic in order for her to survive, and everyone knows that gypsies are born with magic. She went to Rumplestiltskin, and together they manipulated my entire life so that I'd make all of the wrong choices to become the Evil Queen. The true reason that Cora is trying to find me is that she wants to take back her daughter's heart. But I cannot allow this. There are many things that I must do, including finding my own heart. I wonder if I'll still love you when my heart is restored to me. Because it's not really me who is in love with you, is it? The heart inside of me that quickens at the sight of you isn't truly my own, so does that mean that Alice loves you? I don't know, I don't know anything really, and that's why I have to go. I know how this all must sound, but you must believe that this is all true. I can't tell you how I've come by this information; it would endanger you along with Henry, just please trust me. If there comes a time when my duties are fulfilled and I am still able to live, I will return to you. But don't count on that, I don't know what the future holds for me, and for all I know I may die tomorrow._

_I believe that I should bring this to an end. I fear that if I continue confessing all of my hearts desires I won't be able to leave you behind. Please tell Henry that I am so very proud of him. Tell him that I love him more than life itself, and that no matter what heart I have in me, I'll always know him as my son. Our son. I love you, Emma. You're one hell of a savior, because you've managed to save me without even trying. You have finally set me free, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope you find your true love one day—even if it is that god awful pirate. These are my final words to you, please remember them well. Goodbye my dear Miss Swan, it was lovely to have known you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Regina_

_PS - Henry will know what the key opens._


	3. Sing To Me (I Miss Your Voice)

The first thing she felt was rage; white and hot, it sweltered at her fingertips like static. Green eyes brimmed with traitorous tears and the room began to shake. Her mind slipped in and out of consciousness as purple and white magic crackled around her. She fought to control the rage and sorrowful passion within her, nearly tearing herself at the seams. Choked sobs echoed around her; it wasn't until her throat went raw that she realized that the cries were her own. What's wrong with me, why is this happening, the same questions continuously ran through her mind. Images flashed in front of her eyes like relived memories. The first time she met Regina. Regina and her at the mines. Regina and her making magic. Regina smiling with Henry. Regina giving her new memories. She had always known, somewhere deep inside of her. And now, with a burdening truth and a missing Regina, Emma lost control of everything around her. Her skin burned and ached and her eyes stung. The thought of the former queen dying alone and abandoned brought forth a guttural cry from the blonde's quivering lips. As she dropped to her knees, the last things she saw were flickering lights and Henry running to her aid.

* * *

><p>"Emma! Honey, please wake up!" Snow cried. She gently shook her daughter's shoulders until she slowly regained consciousness. Emma's eyes drifted open, her eyes squinting at the harsh light of the station. "What's going on?" She croaked. Snow, David and Henry crouched around her. The trio shared a look of worry.<p>

"You don't remember?" Henry frowned. The sheriff sat up and looked around. The station was in complete disarray; papers littered the floor, the chairs were overturned and the desks crooked. Regina would have a fit if she saw this, she thought. The name brought the day's events crashing down on her and she fought the urge to cry again.

"Regina …"

"What about her?" David pondered. A tight knot formed in her throat.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Mom, you caused an earthquake. I came in here and you had all this magic around you and you were crying." The sheriff brushed off the gestures of affection and arose from the floor. They all stood, her family watching her closely.

"I'm sorry, I honestly don't know what came over me. It was like all this magic came out of nowhere, I can't explain it." It was a poor excuse for a lie and they all knew it, but no one questioned it.

"Does this have anything to do with Regina? Henry said the magic around you looked like hers …"

"No, She … uh, she left … for a little while. It had nothing to do with her. It was probably just hormones, that time of the month, y'know?" David made a sour face.

"My mom left without telling me?" Confusion swept over Henry's features.

"I think it was sort of a last minute thing, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it."

"Where did she go?" The boy pondered.

"Didn't say, she just said she was leaving for a little while. I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"She didn't even tell me..." The blonde eyed the envelope on her desk. The key, she thought.

"She just didn't want to pressure you or anything like that. Don't worry, she'll be fine. Hey, kid, do you know what this opens?" Emma picked up the envelope and pulled the key out. Henry frowned.

"Yeah, it opens a room in the attic. My mom gave that to you?" The blonde gave an uneasy smile.

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"A couple of weeks ago she locked it with that key and hasn't let me anywhere near it since. I've never even seen what's inside. Why would she give you the key?" She shrugged.

"Don't know, it was just at the bottom of the envelope. But, um- Henry could you give us a sec? I need to talk to Snow and David, why don't you wait in the car? I promise I'll be out in few minutes." Henry looked at her quizzically. It was clear that he wanted to pester her with more questions, but the boy just sighed and shook his head before exiting the station. Dear god, she'd just lied to her child. But she couldn't tell him the truth, could she? No, that would be disastrous. She just needed to bide some time, and then Emma would figure out what to do.

"You want to tell us what's really going on?" Snow asked. Emma sighed.

"Regina is gone, maybe for good."

"What?!" The couple yelled in unison. The blonde ran a shaky hand through her hair, shifting from foot to foot.

"She left me this letter and said that she was leaving—like to another world leaving."

"To do what?" Her father asked.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I think she's running from something. She's in a lot of trouble and she went off by herself-"

"Don't worry, Emma. We'll find her. What else did she say in the letter?" A disarming blush crept its way up Emma's neck. She handed the letter to the pair, avoiding their eyes. They read in silence, their eyes growing wider as they processed.

"She's … Regina's in love with you?" Her mother looked ready to cry or bolt out the door, or possibly both. Leave it to Regina to put this on her shoulders.

"Apparently." She shrugged with a crooked smile. "Emma, is that why you blacked out?" David laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I just- I don't know what happened. One minute I was angry and then I was crying and I just felt this overpowering force in me. It was like I couldn't control what was happening, my body just reacted." "That … that's what happens when two people who share true love are separated against their own will. Their hearts become lost and the body just .. reacts. It's happened with us quite a few times, actually." Snow said with a blank stare. She looked lost beyond all words.

"Mom, I'm sorry …" Emma backed away from her parents. She always knew this would happen. It had just been a matter of time before she disappointed them, right?

"Wha- Honey, no. Don't you dare be sorry. This is … shocking to say the least. I don't understand it at all and it may not be what I want for you, but this is your life Emma. I would never deny you the same kind of happiness that your father and I share, especially after already missing so much of your life. Above all else, we love you. No matter what happens."

"Yeah, we're behind you one hundred percent, no matter what you decide." The couple glanced at her with such love and adoration that she thought she might cry again. Goddamn these fucking periods.

"I don't how I feel right now, I don't know what I feel for Regina or the prospect of us possibly being each other's true love … but I do know that I want to help her. I have to find her." Gone was the scared woman and in her place stood the determined savior. Even if she had to go through hell to do it, Emma was going to bring Regina back alive.

"Glad we're all on the same page, but I just have one question …" David wondered aloud.

"What?" the savior asked.

"Who's going to tell Hook?"

* * *

><p>Her hands shook as she decided whether or not to open the door to the attic. Whatever was in there could possibly change her life, and maybe not for the better. But could she live with not knowing? Whatever was in there, Regina wanted her to find it. That alone meant that she had to do this, if only because Regina wanted her to. With a sigh, Emma turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. She slowly made her way up the creaking stairs, expecting something to jump out at her at any moment. What she found, however, was nothing to be afraid of. Or so it seemed. In the center of the room was a wooden table with a book atop its surface. Shuffling over to the table, Emma picked up the book. <em>The Lost Fairytales<em> it read in shiny gold letters. The book was fairly small, about the size of a bible, and was bound in black leather. Gold inscriptions that Emma could not understand littered the cover like vines. Flipping the book open, the blonde sheriff began to read.

_Dear Human, _

_I suppose you've heard many fairytales in your life, and you probably presume them all to be just that-fairytales. But I can assure you that they are most certainly real. Although, many tales that you've been told are lies. Yes, there are other worlds. And yes, there are princes and princesses, kings and queens, witches and wizards and so on. All of that is true. What is not true, however, is what you've been told about them. For instance, I'm sure you've been told that gypsies are thieving scoundrels that dance on street corners for money. This is a lie, and I know this because I am in fact a gypsy. Gypsies are sorcerers and enchantresses that use their magic to explore other worlds. And just as my lineage begs of me, I've explored your world. My stay was not very pleasant, might I add, because gypsies are often hunted. We are hunted and killed and the very same people that do such things are the ones that spread the lies about my people. But this is not why I am writing to you, human. I am writing to you to right the wrongs of the storytellers of old. Here lies the truth of my people and many others. However, I must warn you to keep this book away from prying eyes. It has fallen into your hands for a reason, human; this parchment can choose to be or not be found, and for some reason it has chosen to be found by you. Use this knowledge wisely._

_Signed,_

_Solomon le Chantefleurie III_

Emma closed the book in wonder. This is what Regina was talking about, that thing she said about the gypsies was true, she thought. The blonde's head swam with the new information she'd just learned. If this was all true, then Regina wasn't at all who she thought she was. There was a whole race of people that the former queen belonged to and none of them had known it. Who were her real parents? How did Regina come to be raised by Cora? And more importantly, where the hell was Regina and why in the world did she leave this book for Emma to find? Surely she couldn't have known that Emma would be able to read it. Yes, she was the savior, but that meant nothing to these gypsy people.

"Emma?" Henry strolled up the steps and into the attic.

"Henry, I didn't hear you come in." The blonde said, startled.

"That's because you're all the way up here. Did you find what mom left for you?" He said matter-of-factly. Maybe Henry could help. After all, he was the one who had discovered all of the fairytales in the first place.

"Yeah, it's some book. Hey, do me a favor and tell me what you see on the first page." The boy stopped directly in front of the woman, frowning down at the little book. Henry looked over his mother and realized that she wasn't as okay as she'd said but he took the book nonetheless. He flipped the book open but found nothing on the page. Shuffling through the pages he found that every page was blank, even the front cover.

"There's nothing on it. What is it, some kind of journal or something?" Emma looked taken aback.

"You don't see anything at all?" Henry just shook his head, handing the book back to his mother.

"Looks blank to me. Is there something special about it? I mean, why would mom leave you a blank journal?" Emma flipped through the pages once more to make sure she hadn't imagined the whole thing. Sure enough, the pages were still filled with hand drawn pictures and stories.

"There's a ton of information in it, but I don't understand why I can see it and you can't."

"What does it say?"

"It says-" Just as Emma began to read the first page, the book evaporated in a cloud of blue smoke. The pair shared a startled look.

"I guess it doesn't want you to know what it says …. Basically it was just about something your mother had told me in her letter."

"Mom isn't coming back, is she?" He murmured. Emma sighed.

"No kid, I don't think she is. I think you're mom's in the biggest mess she's ever been in." Emma's voice was small, much unlike her usual vibrato.

"I heard you guys talking at the station about how she left. I had to know what happened, especially if it's about my mom." Henry said. His features were strong and determined; Emma thought he'd never looked more like Regina than he did now.

"I know. I really am sorry for lying to you Henry but this is all just really new to me and I'm still trying to figure out what to do." She murmured.

"You are going to help her, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, there's no question about it. I just need to figure out how to help her, or if I even can. I'm going after her regardless. She's family, y'know?" Henry smiled.

"Emma, do you love my mom the way she loves you?" The blonde nearly fainted at the boldness of the question. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, avoiding her son's eyes.

"What makes you ask that?" He shrugged.

"I heard that part of the conversation too. To be honest, I'd always thought that there was something else between you guys. You fight too much to not have any feelings for each other. I mean, if you don't care about someone you wouldn't fight back cause you wouldn't care what they said. But you guys have always fought against and for each other. And that magic blackout thing you had earlier? Pretty sure that has to do with my mom too."

"O-kay, this is a conversation that I am so not ready to have right now. I'm still trying to find out everything that's going on with your mom and I don't know if everyone's forgotten but I'm still in a relationship at the moment. Pirate with a hook, remember?" The blonde mother snapped. Henry sighed.

"Ma, you're going through a lot right now so I'm gonna let this denial thing you have going on go. I'm not saying Hook isn't a great guy, but you have a history with my mom that you'll never have with him. And one thing I do know is that my mom deserves a lot better than someone who won't even admit how they feel for her. You can ground me for an eternity for saying so, but I think it's time you wake up and smell the daisies. In the meantime, I'll be waiting for us to discuss the game plan on Operation Swan Queen." Henry stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and made his way out of the attic, leaving a gaping Emma in his wake. What the hell is Swan Queen, she pondered.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later Emma found herself sitting in Regina's study, a glass of the best apple cider she'd ever tasted in her hand. Something had driven her to find the drink, and now alone and pondering what to do she realized that it offered her great comfort. It had been a hell of a day and her heart ached in a way she couldn't begin to explain. Initially it was from sadness, but as time passed the heart in her chest had quite literally began to ache. It felt like heavy lead in beneath her bosom and she wished that Regina was there to alleviate the pressure. Regina. The woman who had caused this mess that was now her problem as well. Nothing about this situation made sense, and Emma was trying to figure out how in a span of 24 hours she'd developed a crisis and found out that a woman who she thought hated her was actually in love with her and somehow missing in action. But life was funny that way, she supposed. Taking one last swig of the cider, Emma pulled out her phone and put in the passcode. She dialed the number from memory; when she'd memorized it exactly she wasn't sure. She put the phone to her ear and waited. It rang five times and then went to voicemail. The blonde smiled at the formality of the voice message.<p>

"_Well Regina, you've done it again. As soon as we find some sort of peace in this crazy town you go throwing a wrench in the plan. And I know what you're thinking—that just because you left me the letter doesn't mean that this is my problem. But here's the thing, it sort of is. Just like everything you do is my problem, and everything I do is your problem. For whatever reason, we're in this together. I guess we always have been. I hope you have service wherever the hell you are because I really need you to here this. And I don't know what drove you to tell me how you felt, but I appreciate it. I've always wanted to know what was behind that mayoral posterior and now I know. Anyway, we'll talk about that another time. I just want you to know that whatever trouble you're in; I've got your back. And I'm coming after you_." She pressed the end button and slumped back into the couch. Not five minutes later, her phone lit up with a text message.

**New Text Message**

**January 24****th****, 2013 6:43pm**

**From **_**Regina**_

_Catch me if you can, savior. _


	4. In His Arms (You Hear My Voice)

A/N: **READ THIS FIRST**! Okay so i now this is long without much dialogue but it's really important that you read this cause it has lots of background information for the future in this chapter. Also there's captainswan in this chapter *shutters* (gross, i know, but bare with me. it will _always_ end with swanqueen). & thank you guys for all of the feedback, it's really helping me.

* * *

><p>Sunlight flitted through the blinds of the former mayor's study. Emma sheltered her eyes from the harsh beams of light. Letting out a large yawn she pulled herself from the small couch and looked around the room. Somewhere along the four or five cups of cider she'd practically inhaled the night before, Emma had fallen asleep. The clock on the wall read eleven am, and there was no sign of Henry. He must still be asleep, she thought. Stretching out the kinks in her neck and back, the blonde sheriff noticed The Lost Fairytales sitting on the end table. A wave of relief hit her as she picked up the book; after it vanished the day before she'd thought it might never come back. Before reading the sheriff exited the study, deciding that a quick shower would do her some good. And it didn't hurt that she'd get to change into some of Regina's ridiculously soft clothes afterwards.<p>

* * *

><p>Exiting the main suite bathroom in a white V-neck and black yoga pants, Emma plopped down onto Regina's immaculate bed. Regina would have screamed if she could see her now, dressed in her workout clothes and lounging on her expensive comforter. It would probably be against the law if the former mayor was still in Storybrooke, but she wasn't and so Emma decided to indulge in the small luxuries until she could find the brunette. Her only lead so far was the book Regina had left her, and it was the only thing she'd entertained since hearing of the former mayor's departure. Stretching out, she began to read again.<p>

_Dear Human,_

_Gypsies can live on for centuries at a time. We are magical beings; 'The First People' some call us. Our lineage dates back to a time when the universe was first created. I myself descended from the line of Le Chantefleurie. Mine is the eldest family of the Gypsies. The first king Casamir and his queen Chavi brought the Gypsy people into existence. Together they made the Gypsy empire, what is now commonly known as Agrabah. Agrabah is a separate world within the Enchanted Forest, although most do not know of it because it is hidden. It is a place not welcome to common folk of the forest, or even Royals. It is a sacred land, pure and ridden with magic. The kings of old sought to hide it because they knew of the greed of man and they could not risk our magic being taken by those of dark means. Gypsy magic can't be harvested by evil, but if the seeker were strong enough they might find a way. It is of the upmost importance, human, that you keep that to yourself. Humans mustn't know about this kind of magic; they'd go mad trying to find it and destroy themselves in the process. But you are not most humans and so I know that you wouldn't do such a thing. You are a descendant of the gypsies, or you are chosen by someone in the Le Chantefleurie line to uphold the strength and truth of my people. That is why you and you alone can read this book. It has been passed down to many Gypsies, but only one human before you; King Leopold of the Summerlands. I suspect that you might know him._

_Signed,_

_Solomon le Chantefleurie III_

Emma's mind raced as she read the passage for the third time in an hour. It couldn't be possible that this was true. Why would the book have chosen her grandfather? And how did it get from him, to Regina, and finally to her? It was no accident; that much she was sure of. For some reason this book wanted Emma, and her grandfather had something to do with it. But from all that she'd heard, King Leopold wasn't the kindest of people. He'd forced Regina into a loveless marriage when she was just a teenager, so if the Gypsy people were as noble as this Solomon said, why did they pick him? And what did all of this have to do with Regina? She was the one that left the book in her possession, which means that she knew that Emma would be able to read it. And Regina was already a gypsy, which she already knew. And whoever the man that wrote the book was—or is because she'd no idea if the man was still living—he was related to Regina in some way. But how? Questions that Emma had no answer to nagged her for hours; her frustration and helplessness continued to flourish with every new question that went unanswered. This book was her only way of finding Regina and the knowledge she needed. She began to read again.

_Dear Human,_

_I have lived many lifetimes, and so I've seen a great many things—things I'm sure that you've no clue exist in your world. You've probably met a Gypsy in your time and you don't even know it. We can look however we please and blend in when necessary. There are thousands of Gypsies traversing my world and yours and many others; it is our life's work. _

_Kin to the gypsies are the Fae, otherwise known as Faeries. And no, before you ask, Faeries are not the same as Fairies. Fairies are sprite like creatures, granting wishes here and there and leading people to their so called true loves. You should know that it is commonly known among magic folk that Fairies are often wrong with their fairy dust and pixie magic because they seek happy endings instead of the truth. Faeries, however, are a strong and powerful people. They are larger in height than humans, some growing to be nearly eight feet! Many possess the ability to fly with great big wings like that of a griffin, and some don't require wings at all to fly. _

_As far as appearances go, the Fae are more majestic than the gypsies. They have what is called glamour; a spell used to make weak minded creatures (like humans and Fairies) fall prey to their charm. Gypsies frown upon the use of such magic because it is a direct disregard of one's will, and it is mostly forbidden in enchanted lands. But the Fae have always been known to do as they please regardless of the consequences. _

_You may have heard of one of the greatest Fae of all. She is called Maleficent. And no, if you've heard of the other Maleficent you're thinking of the wrong person. But they've met and might be called friends. That Maleficent (the one you most likely know) is of the Enchanted Kingdom, but this Maleficent is from a faraway land called the Moor. It is a wonderful place human, and if you are ever given the chance to see it you should certainly take it. I had the pleasure of traveling there quite a few times to visit my dearest friend Hadrian, Maleficent's father. But sadly he is passed on, as is Maleficent's dear mother Marridia. I wish you could have known them human, they were truly astounding. Alas, you may come across their daughter in your travels. She is a force to be reckoned with; although you mustn't take her lightly. She's an ill-tempered woman with tremendous powers—meaning she might do you harm should you anger her. But do not let that stop you human, you are brave and true. You can face anything with the proper amount of will and courage._

_Signed, _

_Solomon le Chantefleurie III_

Just as Emma turned the page to continue reading there was loud banging on the front door. Slightly confused, the blonde hurried down the steps to the foyer. She looked out the peephole and let out a dreadful sigh. It was Hook. Unlocking the door, Emma put on her best Regina impression of a fake smile. "Killian, what are you doing here?" The pirate eyed her quizzically.

"Well I had stopped at the apartment to see if you wanted to get breakfast, but Snow told me you were here. Why _are_ you here, by the way?"

"What, I can't be at Regina's now?"

"Not at all, love. I was merely saying so because she hated you last week and now you're answering the door for her. Speaking of which, you going to let me in? It's rather nippy out here." The blonde suppressed a grimace. She let the man in and shut the door behind him. Regina would _never_ have let him in her house.

"I can't go to breakfast; I've got some stuff to take care of."

"Here?"

"Obviously, that's why I'm here." She rolled her eyes and made her way into the kitchen. Killian followed closely behind her.

"Are you alright, love?" God how she hated when he called her that.

"Yeah, I'm great. Why?"

"You're acting awfully like the Evil Queen this morning. Where is her majesty, anyway?"

"_Don't_ call her that, that's my kid's mother you're talking about." She snapped.

"Emma will you please tell me what's going on? You haven't returned my calls for the past two days and now you're acting all pissed at me—did I do something?" She sighed, running a stray hand through her hair.

"No, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my plate right now and I'm not exactly sure how to deal with it." "Anything I can help you with?" He smirked at her in a way she was supposed to find attractive. She didn't.

"Uh, no. It's kind of a solo thing."

"Oh. Is Regina helping you, then?" He said her name with a slight curl of the lips. It had been no secret that the pirate and the queen weren't on the best of terms, but recent events had Killian disliking the brunette more than usual.

"I wish, but no. She's MIA at the moment so it's all up to me."

"Then why are you in Regina's house?" He stepped closer to her. She backed away, her back hitting the counter.

"What is this, an interrogation? Stop grilling me, okay? I'm here with Henry cause his mom is gone for a while."

"Emma, please. I'm on your side, love. We're in this together, remember? I can help you, that's what I'm here for."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then help me too!"

"I _can't!_" She fumed. The pirate studied her helpless expression and defensive body language.

"Emma, where is Regina?" A traitorous tear crept down her flushed cheeks.

"I don't _know_. Everyone expects me to but I don't. I have no clue where she is and she _needs_ me to." He frowned, trying to keep his voice even.

"What are you talking about?"

"Regina left and she's in trouble and I don't know how to find her!" Her words were hurried and panicked. Killian took a hesitant step towards her and wrapped her in his arms.

"Easy, love. How do you know that she's in trouble?"

"She told me. She said not to come after her because it could put me in danger too, but I have to try. I have to do something, don't I?" She mumbled into his chest.

"Is that what you want to do?" A long drawn out pause.

"I would never forgive myself if I didn't try and something horrible happened to her. No matter what, we've always had each other's backs. And she would come and save me if the situations were reversed. That's what family does." He lifted his good hand and placed it upon her cheek, directing her eyes to his.

"Then we'll go and get her, together." He left a gentle kiss upon her lips and she melted into it. It didn't feel right—it never did, but it was always something to quell the loneliness she felt. But now, with a distant stinging in her heart the savior realized that the loneliness would only continue to grow. Just behind Hook she caught Henry standing in the doorway. The boy shook his head and walked away, not uttering a word.


	5. I Hate This Pain (But it Feels So Good)

**A/N**: So this chapter is a lot, but i hope you guys like it. **TRIGGER WARNING:** mentions of rape/abuse.

Regina steadily paced back and forth among the forest life, wringing her hands and worrying her full bottom lip. Several hours' time had passed from the moment the former mayor pulled out of her driveway that unfortunate morning. She'd been waiting all day for what exactly she wasn't sure of. As if she had been expecting it, Regina knew exactly when Emma had read the letter; she felt it when Emma lost control. The blonde's swirl of emotions hit the former mayor like a tidal wave, bringing her to her knees. The pain had been insatiable as she coughed up blood unto the grassy ground. And just as quickly as it had come, the pain vanished. She had called sometime after it happened, and Henry and Snow and the whole Brady bunch, but she answered none of their calls. Something foreign and impulsive made her pull out her phone and listen to the voice message she knew was there. Tears stung the corners of brown eyes as her love's tired and edgy voice washed over her.

"_Well Regina, you've done it again. As soon as we find some sort of peace in this crazy town you go throwing a wrench in the plan. And I know what you're thinking—that just because you left me the letter doesn't mean that this is my problem. But here's the thing, it sort of is. Just like everything you do is my problem, and everything I do is your problem. For whatever reason, we're in this together. I guess we always have been. I hope you have service wherever the hell you are because I really need you to here this. And I don't know what drove you to tell me how you felt, but I appreciate it. I've always wanted to know what was behind that mayoral posterior and now I know. Anyway, we'll talk about that another time. I just want you to know that whatever trouble you're in; I've got your back. And I'm coming after you."_

The brightest smile she'd allowed herself in months graced her features as tears cascaded down flushed cheeks. Even if Emma didn't make it to her in time and even if Emma didn't return her feelings, her wanting to save what was left of her made everything worth it. Her body began to tremble and she could feel the timber of magic coursing through her veins, sending surges of uncontrollable power into a heart that wasn't hers. Regina paused and took a deep breath. The brunette's body was becoming weaker by the second. Every breath was a battle in itself, a war not yet won. She leaned back on the hood of her car, eyelids sliding closed. Emma made her sacrifice worth it; she was abandoning all that she knew and loved for a chance to finally do what she thought was right, what the savior would do. Haunted dreams and lingering whispers had called her to this very moment, and she knew that sooner or later she'd have to face them. _Her_.

"Princess?" A small voice called from behind her, effectively snapping her out of her thoughts. Regina's eyes peaked open as she turned to see who it was. The boy was small, she noted, and he couldn't have been much younger than Henry. His brown skin glowed in the early sunlight, wild eyes dancing with tendrils of green and grey. Raven curls fell around the boy's shoulders.

"Who are you?" She asked, her voice pregnant with strain. Army green trousers fell loosely around his waist and billowed out down to his ankles. A cream vest accented his off white embroidered tunic, brown slippers encompassing his small feet.

"I am Raja. You are far sicker than we thought, princess."

"Yes, well that can't be helped much now, can it?" She replied offhandedly. A warm smile broadened the boy's handsome features.

"Oh, but it can princess!"

"Why do you keep calling me princess?" Raja seemed confused.

"You are princess Regina, are you not?" Surely he was mistaking her for someone else; she was no princess. She was a queen, or at least used to be. But she was certainly _not_ a princess.

"Are you the one that sent me the message?"

"Yes. Humans have such strange things, your Highness. I have been to many worlds, but this is definitely the most peculiar. I should like to leave now, if it pleases you. " Raja raised his right hand and whispered a foreign enchantment, opening a portal behind Regina. She blinked in surprise.

"How do you have the magic to simply open a portal at will?"

"I am a gypsy, you're highness, as are you. We have magic stronger than any other. This is mere child's play."

"I've never been able to open a portal, at least not by myself ..."

"You only need try, highness, and anything you wish will come to be. It is in your blood." Regina looked at the portal skeptically.

"Where will this take us?" Raja smiled again.

"Home." The boy raised his hand to Regina, silently asking her to trust him. She swiftly pulled out her phone and sent out a quick message. Casting a glance at the crimson sunset with a wayward smile, the woman tossed the phone away. Looking back to Raja she grasped his hand, and together the pair stepped into the portal.

* * *

><p>Regina stumbled onto hard concrete, gasping for air in her dry lungs. Hazy black spots clouded her vision as she fought to maintain her consciousness. Troughs of raw magic shot through her heart. The witch clutched at her aching chest.<p>

"Regina?" A loving voice called to her from above her position on the floor. Her head lazily bobbed up from the ground, pain etched over her features. Regina was met with a blurry woman's figure. A soft hand graced her cheek. The last thing she felt before slipping into unconsciousness was the warm press of smooth lips on her forehead, and a hushed reassurance.

* * *

><p>Lithe fingers combed through Regina's shoulder length hair as she slowly drifted awake. The comforting scent of flowers hit her nose, eyes fluttering open. She soon realized that her head was in the lap of a woman, and her body shielded by covers. The witch quickly extracted herself from the woman and backed away against the metal headboard of the bed. Said woman wore a pleasant expression on her native shaded skin. Darker than black hair cascaded down the woman's back. She looked to be at least in her fifties, but her features were quite becoming. Her emerald eyes shined with love and adoration.<p>

"Who are you?" Regina squeaked, voice small and spent. That certainly won't do, she thought to herself. The witch sat up straighter, hiding the pain from her face.

"Regina ..." The woman smiled. Her emerald green eyes brimming with tears.

"How do you know my name?" Regina asked again, now irritated.

"I'm the one that sent for you, dear." She stared hard into the woman's eyes, searching for an answer.

"Are you the woman from my dreams? I could never see your face, but you seem oddly familiar and I don't know where else I'd know you from."

"Yes. My name is Esmeralda." Regina frowned, still in shock.

"I read about you in The Lost Fairytales."

"So then you know who I am." The older woman raised her chin in a regal gesture.

"I'd like to hear you say it first." She challenged.

"You're my child, Regina." A softness swirled in Esmeralda's eyes, but her face remained stern. She noted the flash of sadness and vulnerability that swept across her daughter's face. And as many years of being a royal taught her, she watched on as the younger brunette swiftly schooled her features into a blank mask.

"I haven't been a child for many years, and you haven't been my mother for even longer." She sneered at the woman. Her eyes hardened into a dark abyss as she clenched her jaw.

"I have always been your mother."

"Have you? I must have missed those years."

"Just because we were apart doesn't mean that I was no longer your mother."

"Oh, it doesn't? Then, pray tell, where were you when my mother abused me for eighteen years?" A sadistic glint shone in Regina's nearly manic smile. Her words were laced with a venomous sarcasm. Esmeralda did not answer.

"Or when she killed my first love, were you my mother then?" She stood from the bed, now zeroing in on her mother like prey.

"Oh I know, how about when she forced me into a marriage with a man old enough to be my father?" Hollow laughter ricocheted throughout the vast space. Esmeralda stood and faced away from Regina trying desperately to hold herself together.

"Stop it." She whispered fiercely.

"_Stop_? You want me to _stop_? But I'm just getting to the best part! After all, you've been my mother this whole time. It's only right that I fill you in on all the years you missed! Let's see, why don't we talk about when she whipped me like a slave when I muddied my boots, or when she'd make my father watch as she beat me?!"

"Were you my mother when she ….. when she had me _raped_ by a man she'd met at a tavern?" Her voice had slipped into deranged screams as she unveiled her gruesome past, her last words spoken in a desperately sorrowful whisper. Chest heaving in anger, she swiped furiously at her plummeting tears. Electricity crackled on her skin, spurring on her unwanted breakdown.

"I'm so sorry …" the older woman choked out in harsh sob.

"You're _sorry_?! _Where were you?!_ Where were you when I needed you?!"She cried. Magic seethed in her chest and lungs at the over exertion. She stumbled slightly but her voice would not falter.

"Let me make something very clear to you, Esmeralda," She spit the woman's name like venom.

"I am not here to play house. I didn't come here to have some precious mother daughter reunion, and I sure as hell don't need your apologies. I came here to rid myself of this magic ridden heart and return it to its rightful owner. So you can keep your meaningless apology. 'Sorry' isn't going to change what happened to me, what you _let _happen to me." Regina seethed. A fit of raucous coughs staggered her breath as she fell to the floor. Tears continued their stream while she hacked up black blood. Esmeralda kneeled in front of her, attempting to move her into a sitting position.

"Don't touch me!" The younger brunette wheezed. Her mother simply used greater force and placed a hand encompassed in glowing blue light to her chest. Her touch was warm and momentarily alleviated the pain beneath her bosom. Regina struggled to catch her breath.

"I didn't _let_ anything happen to you, Regina. You were stolen from me as a baby, and I have spent this entire time looking for you. When you were taken we couldn't find you because your heart was replaced, and Cora knew that when she took you. Without your heart we couldn't see you with our magic. I wish more than anything that I could have found you sooner and spared you of all the pain that you suffered, but I can't. I can't change what has already come to pass, Regina—no matter how much I want to. And regardless of what you want to hear, I _am_ sorry. I've failed you as a mother and I am so sorry." She placed a tentative hand to Regina's cheek and wiped away her tears. The younger brunette was far too worn to fight the gesture and instead leaned into her mother's soft hands.

"Did … did you and my father ever love me?" Her words were vulnerable and weak to hear but she could no longer find it in herself to care.

"Always." She said without hesitation. The older woman's smile was fragile. Regina gave a dull nod.

"I'm tired." Brown eyes were covered by drooping eyelids as she fought to keep them open.

"I'll be here when you wake." She nodded again and drifted into a fitting slumber.

* * *

><p>This time when Regina awoke, she didn't fight her mother's gentle caress of her hair, nor did she welcome it. Sensing her tension, Esmeralda began to speak.<p>

"It's been so long since I held you last. You were just a baby, still my little princess. You used to lie on my chest and listen to my heartbeat. I would sing to you, old hymns of our people. It used to make you so happy, right before you would fall asleep. Your little tiny hands would hold onto my hair all night, I think you were afraid that I would disappear if you didn't ... You were such a precious little baby. You're father and I adored you so much. He used to stand over your bassinet and just stare at you while you slept. The light of his life, he would call you. I wish that he was alive to see you now, I think you would've liked him ..."

"When did he pass away?"

"He was killed trying to save you from Cora. She ripped his heart out and crushed it, and I was too late to save him." The tale was painfully familiar to the former mayor.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. You're father was a strong and brave man, and he loved you dearly. His only regret was that he couldn't stop her from taking you. Phoebus would have died for you a million times if it meant that you would be safe." Regina pulled herself from her mother's grasp, looking anywhere but at the woman in question.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you …." She murmured.

"I'm not asking you to, but I would like to have the chance to get to know you." Esmeralda smiled, brushing a stray hair out of her daughter's face.

"I don't need a mother anymore." Her words stung, but the older woman refused to be deterred.

"Then allow me to be your friend, if nothing else. Everyone needs a friend." Regina studied her mother's face. They had the same nose, and her lips were just as full as hers. Although her mother was darker skinned, she looked exactly like her. Except her eyes; green flecked with blue, and bright as stars. Like that of someone she missed dearly.

"I suppose that would be …. Adequate." The smile directed at her reflected her own when she allowed herself to smile.

"You remind me of my father, so proud and strong. He's going to adore you, I'm sure."

"I read his book. He seems like an interesting man."

"Yes, he and your father were very close. We met Phoebus when we first came to the human world, he was a soldier."

"What was he like?"

"Your father was wonderful. He was always making people laugh and doing things to help others. He would have been a wise and noble king, but because he wasn't a gypsy he couldn't take the throne. I married him anyway, of course. That's why my father has ruled for so long, because I refuse to take his place." Regina frowned.

"And why would you do that?"

"It's not mine to take, and even if it was—I'm no ruler."

"Well if you don't want to take your father's place, who will?"

"Since I've forsaken my birth right, the throne is technically yours. You are the next in line." Regina laughed, fervently shaking her head.

"No, absolutely not. I'm not going to rule over people that I don't even know. And besides, I've already had my time as a queen and I have no desire to be one again."

"Yes, I've recently heard tales of your time as the Evil Queen, but that is who you were, not who you are."

"I know exactly who I am." Regina snapped.

"Do you?" Esmeralda eyed her warily. "What are you referring to?"

"Your heart is very troubled."

"Well obviously, considering that isn't mine." Her snide remark was ignored.

"When I healed you, I sensed a bond in your heart. It's tied to someone else's." Regina rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. The fairies already told me that Robin Hood is my true love, but that ship has sailed."

"Well unless Robin Hood is a woman in your world, they were very wrong." The former mayor's eyes widened, her body going rigid. There was no way she could know about that, it wasn't possible.

"I think you're mistaken." Esmeralda shook her head.

"No, I'm quite sure that I'm correct. The minute that I felt your heart, I saw her face."

"I don't want to talk about her." She scowled.

"Regina, there's nothing wrong with-"

"_Drop. It_." The mother sighed. Resigned, she stood from the bed and moved towards the door.

"I fear that we may have moved a little too fast today. I meant not to pry, but I can see that I'm making you uncomfortable."

"Yes, you are." The former queen gritted out.

"May I see you later, then?" Regina turned her head up at the woman.

"I'll send for you if I should wish to see you." Taking no offense to her daughter's harsh words, Esmeralda merely smiled and shook her head. She mock bowed to her daughter.

"Of course, my queen." Regina's scowl deepened.

"Get out, mother." Realizing her slip of the tongue, Regina grimaced and flushed a deep red. Esmeralda laughed a boisterous howl as she exited the room.

"You are certainly your mother's daughter." She threw over her shoulder. The younger brunette fought the urge to laugh at her mother's words. Finally alone, Regina took in her surroundings. The room was a dark shade of red with a flurry of colorful tapestries hung on the walls. Golden sheers hung atop the canopy bed that she lay in, curtaining her from the ceiling. It wasn't her taste at all but she couldn't deny that the room held its own particular flare. Feeling the need to rid herself of her wrinkled clothes, Regina rose from the bed and looked around. To her right were gold embroidered double doors, and she ventured over to them. She made quick work of assessing the walk in closet and found that everything was colorful and drastically patterned. The brunette picked the most casual clothes she could find, settling on a deep purple skirt with a golden jeweled belt attached to it and an off white tunic that cut off just beneath her breast and loosely hung around her shoulders. The ensemble was much more revealing and summery than she was used to and yet she still felt a certain familiarity with the style of dress. Hearing a knock at the door, Regina quickly donned a pair of brown slippers and made her way out of the closet.

"Princess!" Before she could even get the door open, Raja burst through the doors and launched himself into her arms. He stood no taller than her bosom, his weight upon her weak body making her head spin. She stiffened, lightly patting the boy on the back.

"I'm so glad that you're alright, I was afraid that I had hurt you on our travel. Please forgive me highness, I meant you no harm." He said in a huff. Regina softened at the boy's obvious worry for her wellbeing. "I'm fine, Raja, there's no reason to apologize." She smiled. The boy released his grip and beamed up at the woman.

"You are much too kind, princess. Now that you're awake, would you like to explore the palace grounds? I can show you everything, even the city and the gardens. If it would please her highness, I would love for you to accompany me." His smile reminded of Henry when he was little, and she found that she couldn't deny him anything.

"That would be wonderful, thank you." He offered his hand and she took it, allowing him to lead her all throughout the palace. She followed him down endless hallways and winding staircases until they reached the balcony that looked out upon the whole city.

"Look your highness, from here you can see all of Agrabah!" The sight nearly took her breath away. High cathedrals with stained glass windows and clock towers with bells littered the streets, temples and domed buildings on nearly every corner. Palm trees grew in the market place, small monkeys sitting in their leaves. And just beyond the large city walls lay a vast desert with the sunset at its horizon.

"It's beautiful …" Regina whispered.

"It is yours." She sighed.

"No, it's not. I didn't come here to assume the throne, Raja. And besides, how can I rule over people that I don't even know?" The boy frowned.

"But it is your birth right. You are the long lost princess." Regina looked down at the boy, smiling sadly. "I'm not a princess, I'm just Regina. And you don't have to call me 'your highness' or 'princess', my name is just fine." Raja fervently shook his head.

"Oh no, I could never address you so formally. You are the future queen, I am just a peasant boy that works for the king, and I am beneath you." She tilted the boys head up by the chin to meet her eye.

"Well as your future queen, I command you to call me Regina and treat me as you would any other person. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes pr- Regina, if you insist."

"I do insist." She said, turning her attention back to the city before her.

"So if you're not going to take the throne, does that mean that you aren't going to stay here?"

"I haven't yet decided. There are many things that I still don't know about this place, or the people that inhabit it."

"I can tell you everything you'd like to know." He smiled.

"And how would a little boy such as yourself know so much?"

"I'm not a little boy, I'm 9! I'll be a man soon." The small boy puffed out his chest. Regina laughed at the gesture, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Henry had done the same thing when he was little, running around the house and telling her of his masculinity and strength.

"Of course, how rude of me. I would be honored if you would share your knowledge with me." And just like that, his beaming smile returned. Running a hand through his shoulder length raven curls, the boy began to speak.

"I found you just last month, but I didn't know how to come to you. The queen had told me not to startle you, that is why I discovered the human device used to send messages. And King Solomon told me that you read his book so I knew that you would understand when I sent the message. And your mother's dreams that she sent you, those were of our world. They were all memories of her past and yours, that's why you saw her with a baby—that baby was you. She's been searching for you since you were stolen, she never stopped. And when we finally heard word of the Storybrooke world, she sent me right away. And you were there!"

"And now that I'm here, what does the she intend to do?"

"We're going to get your real heart back from Alice, so that you don't have to be sick anymore. And we're going to defeat the queen of hearts so that you can be safe. And the king will step down from his long reign, he means for you to take his place."

"My grandfather, you mean?"

"Yes, King Solomon of the gypsies. He is a wonderful king and our people have prospered during his reign."

"You speak so highly of him."

"He saved my life; he took care of me when no one else would. He is the only father that I have ever known."

"What about your parents?" Raja's smile fell.

"They were killed during the wizard's war when I was 5. I was alone, until the king found me stealing in the market place last year. He remembered that my father was a knight in his guard and he made me his servant in the castle. And when I'm old enough, I'll be his squire! His majesty and your mother have made it so I never have to go hungry ever again."

"I'm happy that they found you when they did, i'm sure that they love you very much." Regina smiled. "They love you as well, pri-uh—Regina."

"So they've said."

"It's true, I know it. You are loved by everyone, I'm sure of it." The boy smiled at her with an innocence and assuredness that made the former queen sick to her stomach. Her attempted smile was more of a grimace, and she fought the urge not to cry. These people had an unnerving way of disabling her highest walls; she hated that more than anything.

"Not everyone sees me the way you do, Raja. But I appreciate the sentiment very much. "

"You're most welcome."

"Would you mind if I were alone for a little while, my dear? I'm very much enjoying spending time with you, but all of this is a lot to process at the moment and I need some time to think."

"Of course," As if never deterred by anything, Raja only smiled even brighter before throwing himself into Regina's arms.

"I believe in you. Even if you don't." Tears threatened to fall from somber brown eyes. She pulled the boy closer to her and kissed his head full of hair.

"You're such a special boy Raja, don't every let anyone tell you different."

"Of course, your grace." With a wicked grin the boy scampered off the balcony, leaving Regina to her own devices.

* * *

><p>She'd felt her approaching before she'd even reached the balcony, but still her mother said nothing. Her back tensed as she felt her mother studying her every move. The sun had long since gone down, and Regina stood leaned over the balcony staring at the glimmering city beneath her. Even now, its beauty still took her breath away. The late night summer air hit her cheeks like a saving grace and she basked in the feel of it.<p>

"Were you planning on saying something or are you just going to stand there all night?" She murmured in a tired rasp.

"I was merely trying to memorize all that I had missed," Esmeralda said, moving to stand beside her daughter on the balcony.

"You've grown into a beautiful woman, my darling. More beautiful than I could have ever imagined." "Thank you." Her voice carried in a whisper. Her thoughts clouded with an ocean of emotions that she'd yet to decipher. This woman was her mother, and she didn't even know her; but she felt like she'd known her for her entire life, like her horrible past never happened. It infuriated her to no end. Her mind was angry and hurt and confused and she shouldn't care about this woman—she should hate her because she'd abandoned her to a life that no one should have to live. But oh how her heart craved to be nurtured by her, she wanted what she never had; a mother who loved her. A son that understood her. A woman that loved her just as much as she did. Everything hurt, but her mother understood, or wanted to understand. But she just _couldn't_. She couldn't let this woman in to only have what was left of her possibly short time spent being loved by a mother that she'd always wanted, only to die and cause them both unrelenting pain. She wanted it all; her mother, her grandfather, her son, her _Emma_. She wanted her so bad she couldn't breathe.

"It's okay to love her. You don't have to be afraid to feel what you feel." Regina couldn't cry again—_wouldn't_ cry again. Her lips quivered in trepidation and she shut her eyes tightly, bowing her head into her forearms on the balcony. The woman knew, like she'd always known her daughter's every feeling. "You don't understand." She rasped.

"Maybe not, or maybe I know exactly how you feel," Regina scoffed.

"How could you?" A shaky sigh escaped the brunette mother's lips.

"Before I met your father, when I just coming into my womanhood, I fell in love. And with a woman, no less," The woman chuckled. Regina did not.

"I had never been attracted to women and I haven't been since, but it was just something about her. The way she spoke, the way she laughed—everything about her was so perfect."

"What was her name?" The woman chanced a glance at her mother, still hiding in the crevice of her arms.

"Cornelia. She's one of the merfolk of Atlantis."

"I've heard that their world is beautiful."

"It is, one of the most beautiful worlds I'd ever seen. It was the first time that my father had let me travel so far away and I was only in my nineteenth year. I hadn't mastered my powers nearly as much as Raja has at his age, but over time I'd become stronger. And so I left home and went as far as I could, and I ended up in Atlantis. My strongest element is air so I was able to breathe just fine when I went into the sea."

"What was it like?"

"Unlike anything I'd ever imagined. I loved every minute there, and I never wanted to leave."

"So why did you?" Regina stood straight, now focusing on her mother.

"Cornelia was the queen of Atlantis. She was married to the king, and she loved him. She me as well, but she wouldn't leave him to be with me. And soon enough the king found out about us and wanted to have me executed, but Cornelia and my father would not allow it. I was a princess, after all. It would have started a war if King Triton had killed me, and my father's army would have slaughtered them—and for what? A young fool in love with a woman twice her age. I wasn't selfish enough to cause such a thing, so I left and I never went back. I haven't seen her since." Esmeralda did understand, better than Regina did herself. She knew what it was like to see the person you loved in the arms of another. The pain and heart break etched its way across her features; she was so tired of feeling like a lost child. "When did you stop loving her?"

"I never did. To this day I still love her very dearly, but I was lucky enough to fall in love again. Phoebus was everything I needed and he helped me in ways that i can't even begin to explain. He was everything to me, and so was Cornelia. But they were two separate parts of my life; who I was and who I became. I was courageous enough to love Phoebus because he was my happiness, and I wouldn't have given up that chance for anything in the world." She looked upon her daughter with a long, hard stare. Her eyes spoke volumes that Regina was not yet ready for.

"I might not see her ever again …" She whispered, a lone tear trailing down her flushed cheeks.

"You _will_ see her again; I'll make sure of it. And you will love her fiercely with everything you have. I refuse to stand by and let you throw away what could be one of the best things in your life because of fear. Love is _everything_, my child. Don't run away from it." Her words were earnest and true and she said them with a pride emanating from her being. Regina wiped away her tears, looking up into the starry night sky. They reminded her of the blonde sheriff's eyes.

"She's so wonderful …"

"What is her name?" A smile that brightened her mother's eyes with adoration slipped across the younger brunette's lips. She looked to her mother with a twinkle in her eye.

"_Emma."_


End file.
